The Cushy Life: GOSH, I'm tired!!

I think it comes as no surprise that Jimmy REALLY wanted to start a family as soon as we were married. He made no bones about letting me know how much he loved children and that he couldn't wait to be a dad. He had worked as a preschool teacher during college and had grown up babysitting for his younger cousins, so he had all the experience in the world. I however, had next to no experience and children quite frankly scared me. Anytime I had held a baby, it cried. I was super uncomfortable with kids and I was positive that I was not ready to be a mother. With all of that being said, I spent quite a while putting off having a baby.

Then something changed. I saw how excited Jimmy became when he talked about having a baby. I saw how it excited my mom and dad at the thought of having a grandchild to play with. My mom had never been able to experience the miracle of childbirth, so I knew how incredibly special it would be to her to be able to participate in the process. I knew that my grandmother was very sick and even though she had a great grandchild, I really wanted to share my experience with her. Jimmy's grandmother had no great grandchildren and anyone who knows Grandma Hyde knows that she made no secret about wanting one ;-) After considering all that was in place in our lives, I thought that I was as ready as I could be. It's so true that you are never 100% ready, but I knew I would have Jimmy's help and encouragement, so I knew I could do it.

So, that settled it. I explained to Jimmy that I was in no rush to conceive, but we would see what happened.

On August 11th of 2008, Jimmy and I took a trip to the grocery store to pick up a few things. He jokingly picked up a test and threw it in the basket. I told him that there was no point, I was NOT pregnant, but that I would humor him by taking it. I wasn't nervous about it, I had taken many tests before... all negative of course. I had felt a little more tired than usual, but I chalked that up to having just started an extremely stressful new job.

I got home and proceded to take the test, just to get it over with so we could start on dinner. Jimmy was in our bedroom, taking his shoes off. As I walked from the bathroom to the bedroom, I glanced at the little windows of the test and said, "See! I'm not.......oh my God. Wait...." I took a double take and realized what I was looking at. Jimmy read the look on my face and thought I was joking....But the test proved otherwise.

The look on Jimmy's face was that of sheer confusion and disbelief. I truly think the wind could have knocked him over. We sat and stared at eachother and the test for a few minutes and then quietly walked into the kitched to start dinner. We honestly didn't know what to say to one another. I felt so alien at that moment. Was there REALLY a baby in there? There couldn't be.

After awhile, I lost my patience and took the other test. Same result. I walked into the living room to show it to Jimmy and we sat there, quietly examining this little plastic stick for awhile. We were eerily quiet the rest of the night as we watched our usual programs on tv. If any words were spoken they were always prefaced with the statement,"Well, IF we are pregnant...." We just couldn't quite believe it yet.

The next day, I called the OB office and made an appointment. Jimmy was off and met me for lunch where I jokingly said that "squishy" and I would like some steak. We still joked around, like it couldn't really be true.

When I got home from work, Jimmy had gone to Target after meeting me and bought a digital pregnancy test, a stuffed monkey and the "What to Expect When You Are Expecting" book. I hesistantly went to the bathroom and took the digital test. There was no little plus or minus sign to interpret.. It would plainly say if I was "pregnant" or "not pregnant". After the long 3 minute wait, I read:

It was in that moment that I lost it. I hadn't believed it before, but there was no denying it now. I was shaking and crying. I couldn't believe that I was actually carrying another life. It seemed so strange and terrifying. I wasn't ready for this!

A few weeks went on and I began feeling sick during dinner time. I couldn't eat dinner food for about 6-8 weeks. I was fine in the mornings, I could really eat most anything except eggs. I ate at healthy as I could and snacked on anything sweet and sour that I could get my hands on. Starbursts, skittles, sour patch kids, pickles. On September 15th, we went in for our first appointment. When we walked into the dark ultrasound room, I was so nervous. I was about to see this little thing that had been growing and I didn't know what to expect. Finally, Jimmy and I saw our baby:

It was jumping all over the place! I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I lost it again, of course and the ultrasound tech said, "It just warms your heart doesn't it?" I couldn't even answer her question through my sobs. Poor Jimmy kept wiping the tears from my cheeck and kept holding my hand while I laid there and boo-hooed. We did it! We were going to be parents! We learned that the due date was April 20th, 2009.

By 10 weeks, I felt so much better and was able to eat dinner again. I craved pizza, Mexican food and KFC Famous Bowls almost every day. I had so much energy and was a cleaning machine! My stomach began growing and at almost 15 weeks, I finally told my boss. I was so nervous because I had just started in July, but all was well. I did end up leaving the job in October, after only 3 months because I started to have pregnancy complications due to the stress.

As much as I would love to share each and every little detail, I'd spend the next 2 months just writing about my pregnancy experience. I guess the highlights were that I gained exactly 35 pounds and developed gestational diabetes that I controlled with diet.

The next two pictures were taken when I was pregnant, but didn't know it yet. They are so special to me:

This was taken on the Sunday before the Tuesday that we found out. I think we had come back from Lowes and I was SOOO tired. I slept on the couch for most of the afternoon and my dogs are professional nappers just like me ;-)

This was taken on my brother's 18th birthday.

I think I was about 4 or 5 weeks along. Starting to get a teeny little bump.

About 20 weeks or so. I didn't like taking belly pictures, although I regret that now.

IT'S A BOY!!!

At my shower.

My grandma and I.

This picture is so funny to me, because Jimmy must have said something that I didn't like and then was trying to make up for it by being sweet...hahahaha.

This was about 3 weeks before Harper arrived:

We had a 3D ultrasound done on Valentine's Day, 2009. My mom and dad went with us and what a special day it was. It was so amazing to see our little boy!!

A little smile.

Between family and friends, we had 3 showers. One at work, one at my parents home and one in Wilmington. All 3 were so wonderful and Jimmy and I didn't have to purchase a THING for Harper before he was born.