Accepting it.

**I have no idea why certain words are linking up to other windows. I'm looking into it. Thanks!**



A few days ago, I pulled out the big rubbermaid container that stores all of my opposite -season clothes. I was kind of excited to be pulling out all of my spring and summer clothes so early. While rummaging through them I realized that most of what I have are dresses. Dresses are great because they are roomy, cool, cute and most importantly able to grow with the expanding belly I had last year.

I just wasn't in a dress mood today. We were taking Harper to the park and I knew there would be a lot of bending and pushing swings, etc, so I decided to look at what shorts I had.

I pulled on one pair that were a little tight the summer before last, but I could still wear them ok.

I couldn't button them.

The only other pair that fit were in the dirty laundry.

Jeans were my next option, but the one pair that really fits me best right now was in the dirty laundry. Notice a pattern here? I looked down and saw at least 4 other pairs in the drawer.

There are some really cute American Eagle jeans laying at the very bottom of my "jean drawer." They've been there since I gave birth to Harper in 2009. One of them is exactly like the pair that I wore on my first date with Jimmy. On at least 5 different occasions since Harper was born, I've tried to put them on.

*Tried.*

It ain't happening.

I keep holding out hope that those date jeans will fit again one day.

I think most of us moms can agree that things are just different after having a baby. I'm not back to my pre-pregnancy weight yet, but there was a time, in between my two babies, that I was. Even then, the darn jeans just didn't fit.

My hips are wider. My body is different, even at pre-pregnancy weight.

I can get back down to pre-pregnancy weight, but there's nothing that will make my hips their pre-childbirth size.

So, with that, I've decided to let the date jeans go. Those and many other pre-baby clothes that I'm still hanging onto. (What's up with the shirts getting shorter?)

I'm putting everything in a box tonight and hauling it off to Plato's Closet, or Clothes Mentor tomorrow. With whatever (teeny) amount they give me for them, I'll go ahead and start buying things that actually fit.

I feel a little silly that part of me is sad about this. I'm letting go of tangible things that remind me of the size I used to be. I tend to hang onto things for sentimental reasons, but what good are those clothes to me now?

The truth is, I have two beautiful (and some say identical-looking) babies to show for it. I've got stretch marks and a sometimes sore, but always numb c-section scar hiding under my clothes.

I may never be the size I once was, but that's ok. I think that adopting a new body when you adopt the life of a mom is part of the job description.

Luckily for all of us, blousy tops are usually always "in." :)

Goodnight and

GO PACK!!

Sugar We're Goin' Down Swingin'

I will NEVER forget my first day of Chemistry Class. I was late, because I couldn't find the classroom. For anyone who knows me, that is no surprise, because I could get lost in a paper bag. I remember being SO nervous because I was all alone for the first time, in a new town. My parents were back at my one bedroom apartment helping me get moved in and helping my little chihuahua Kailey get adjusted to her new home.

I was just trying to focus on getting through my first day. I remember walking in and seeing this REALLY cute guy across the room. I went and sat at the table behind him, even though he was at a table by himself. I didn't want to be obvious!! As time went on, I never said a word to him and vice versa. One day, I noticed a tattoo on his right wrist that simply read, "Faith." Well, I didn't know who Faith was, but I really wish she'd go away!

One day out of nowhere, Jimmy called me BY NAME (someone had been paying attention during roll call) and asked me if I had change for a $5. Usually, I'm never at a loss for words, but this day, I stammered. And stammered some more. I really don't even know what I said, but it wasn't cute. He ended up asking another girl for change for a $5. Nice. A few more days went on and I sat next to him in lab one day. He was ever so smooth and struck up conversation with my friend and I. My friend knew that I was dying to get to know him better, so when he finally started talking to me, I could just FEEL her tensing up beside me. He waited for us after class and asked us to go to breakfast with him. I almost fell out in the floor. I think I said something like, "Um, ugh, ummmmm, ok." So, she hopped in my mustang and directed me to Salt Works restaurant. He came flying through the parking lot in his Land Rover and I thought, "OH YAAAAY! He doesn't drive a lifted pick up truck like EVERY other guy I've ever dated! This is a good sign!" We had a great breakfast and he asked us to come hang out with he and his friends that night. My friend bowed out gracefully and I met him for dinner that night at Dockside. Notice no "friends" were there..hehe.

A week went by and a few dates later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. As cute as the story is, I won't embarass him by posting how he asked me. Trust me though, it was really precious. From that day on, we were inseperable. I just kept thinking that he was too good to be true. I had just come out of a tumultuous relationship and it felt so strange to be dating a guy with no drama. There HAD to be something wrong with him, right? No guy is that nice without a hidden agenda. I kept waiting and waiting for him to show me his true colors. As time went on, I realized that he had shown me all he needed to. He was a caring, honest guy. So caring and so sweet, that the "Faith" tattoo was something that he had done after his aunt lost her long-time battle with cancer. It wasn't a girl's name at all... just a permanent reflection of how he spiritually felt after she passed. What you see is what you get and anyone who knows him, knows that to be true. I didn't know it at the time, but my life was about to change.