Buckle your seatbelts, you're in for a random blog post!

Man oh man. I have so many things I feel like I need to update you guys on!

First of all, I'm exhausted. Today has been fun but super busy. I'll get to that in a minute.

Right now, I am IN LOVE with Monday night television. The Bachelor is on AND the Golden Girls are on from 8pm to 1am and I'm not kidding when I say I could sit and watch every episode. Does that make me crazy?

I stopped taking my prenatals. They were making me lose my appetite completely. I just couldn't hang.

I haven't forgotten about finishing up my house tour. I promise to finish that up this week!

Disney just switched over to "Disney Junior" now in the mornings. This morning they were playing "Finding Nemo" and as much as I love that movie, it just doesn't bode well for a toddler. The cartoons they used to play were 30 minutes at the most. There is no way Harper can stay tuned in to a 90 minute movie. It'll be interesting to see if they keep up the whole movies AND cartoons thing.

I am now obsessed with Wholly Guacomole dip. Amy, if you are reading this, it is YOUR fault! Haha. I used to hate guacomole. But I decided to try some of my friend's when she came over for a play date last week and I don't know why, but I can't get enough! I even made a special trip to the grocery store on Saturday to buy some. I could not be satisfied until I had some...with Hint of Lime tortilla chips.

Speaking of Saturday, here's what we did.

At 1pm, my hubby went and got the outline work done on his tattoo. It took several hours, so Harper and I went out and about. When I walked in to go pick him up from the tattoo shop, I almost fell out in the floor. I can't believe how much ink is now covering my husband's skin!



How do you like his sort of nekkid mermaid? Geez.




Apparently, there are more spaces to be filled and of course the shading still has to be done. After that, some fill-in stuff has to be done to tie it all together. I don't neccessarily mind the tattoos, honestly. It's just the time that it takes away from us on his days off that really grates my nerves.


Saturday night, we ordered a pizza and hung out on the couch. We both knew he wouldn't be up for going anywhere with a sore arm.

Sunday kicked off quite a busy day for us. My parents came to visit and kept Harper for us while we went to church and Sunday School. It was so nice to not have to worry about his separation anxiety-induced screaming. I knew he was in good hands and I enjoyed church a little bit more. Just bein' honest. We met my parents for lunch at Carrabba's and then headed back to our house. Mom and dad were sweet and bought all of us a Valentine's Day present. Harper got an Elmo toy and they gave us some decorative baskets and a geometric wall hanging. I can't wait to put it up!

Jimmy and I were originally supposed to go out on Sunday night for Valentine's Day because he is working tonight. I ended up cancelling those plans and took a 2 hour nap! I was SO tired. I haven't been that tired in a long time.

Sunday night, we ate leftover pizza and watched the Grammys. Grammy night is one of my favorite TV nights of the year, so I was happy to stay put and check out all the weirdness of it all.

Today, my lil man woke up at 7:30am and I gave him his Valentine's Day gift. Let me just say that I don't go all out for Valentine's Day. Especially for my little boy. I'm sure if I ever have a girl, I will have to take it up a notch, but boys just don't care.



I decided that I would allow him to have candy throughout the day and he was probably confused by this. Everytime I'd give him a piece of chocolate, he would act like he wasn't supposed to have it.




Unlike most days, I didn't crawl back into bed when he went down for his morning nap. I actually got a shower, got dressed in a decent outfit, put on some makeup and got some things done. I got our 2010 tax information together, orderded a transcript to send to NC State, got some car information for my dad and cleaned up the house a little. Jimmy arose around 11:00am and got ready so that we could take Harper out for a Valentine's Day lunch. We ate at Salt Works, one of our favorite places.

We took some pictures before we left and I don't get why Jimmy wanted to kneel in front of this palm tree. Just too funny.





After lunch, we headed to the park to let Harper burn off some energy.







We came home and Jimmy had to take his pre-work nap. Harper and I were pretty pooped and he went to bed at 6:30pm. Poor guy could not keep his eyes open.



That is our weekend and my random thoughts in a nutshell. Now it's time for Bachelor. Go Emily!

school news

I heard back from the folks over at NC State and it looks like I won't be able to take classes until summer of 2011 just because of timing. The cutoff to apply to spring semester was December 1st. I won't have my Associate's until the end of December. Don't you just LOVE deadlines? Am I bummed about this? Yes. Am I also a little happy? Why, yes I am.

As the hubs put it today, "I've been working really hard for a year, so a semester off to just be a mommy and get my house the way I want it will be good for me."

He is so right.

I've decided that I am not going to apply again until after New Year's. Obviously I can wait now and if I were to apply right after I get my Associate's, then I would stress through Christmas as well as fun New Year's activities. I think it's best to wait until all of that is over and then send in another application once everyone is out of holiday-mode.

Even though a semester off will be "good" for me, I really wanted to keep rolling. I've have mastered the art of time management and I have become super disciplined. I know when to say "no" to things, including family dinners, but they all understand and support me. I just really wanted to keep the steam train rolling. I will still be graduating at the end of 2012 (barring nothing crazy happens), so that is good.


All in all, it'll be fine. I was talking to one of the girls in my Sunday School class about it and she told me that, "God knows exactly what we need, when we need it." She was right as well.

Well, I'm off to finish my final paper for English. I am going to try to squeeze in the paper for extra credit before the midnight deadline tomorrow night, but we'll see.

Wish me luck!

Pondering

I'm sitting here on the couch, thinking about all of the things I have to do in the next few days. Ironically, I don't feel overwhelmed. I'm just wondering how in the world I'll be able to accomplish all of my school-related things by Wednesday.

Currently, here is my to-do list

1. Clean the main living area of the house so that it will not scare my in-laws.

2. Make a note card with 30 answers for my math final tomorrow.

3. Print off all of my exam questions from the last section of my music class to be able to refer back to for the final. (This will take a very long time.)

4. Write the essay that will serve as my final for English.

5. Write the essay that will serve as my extra credit in English and hopefully will provide me with the points I need to get an A.

6. Continue to pack away small items as I can and store them somewhere in this house. Where that will be, I don't know.

7. Finish Christmas shopping. Don't even get me started on this one.

8. Tackle the literal mountain of laundry hanging out in my bedroom. Oh yeah, we're out of laundry detergent and I'm not sure when I'll have time to run and get some.

I know there is more, but today has been a very long and tiring day. I am happy to report, however, that Jimmy and I went to both church and Sunday School this morning! Yay for us! Late this afternoon, we went to our Sunday School social. I am so BEYOND blessed to be a part of this Sunday School class. We have an offical name as of tonight: Coastal Couples. How cute is that?

There are several stay-at-home moms in my class and we already have plans to get together once Jimmy and I move closer to them. I cannot wait for mommy time! I am also blessed to have Jimmy here every day, but there are times when I just need to talk to another mom. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. We moms "get" eachother.

Anyway, this week is going to be tough at best, but I will get through it. I always do. Good night all!

A quick recap

I haven't blogged since Wednesday, so it goes without saying that we have been busy this week.

First, I want to bring everyone up to date on my NC State application. I debated whether to even post this or not, but I decided that I would because I appreciate honesty from other bloggers.

I woke up this morning and checked my status only to find that I had been turned down for enrollment. Before anyone feels sorry for me, I immediately called and inquired as to why because I just couldn't understand why in the world this had happened. The admissions rep basically told me that I needed to finish this semster and apply again. Apparently, they are looking for a specific cumulative GPA that I haven't quite reached because I had a bad semester at a community college back home YEARS ago. I was taking a lot of math and science, which has always been my weakness, and that was reflected in that semster's GPA which in turn has lowered my cumulative GPA. So, after talking to him, I need to wait until after I have received my Associate in Arts Degree and this semester's grades have posted, then apply again.

I didn't even cry about this! I just see it as my applying too early and I know that I am in the midst of a great semester, so the GPA should no longer be an issue.

Secondly, I went to the dentist about my wisdom teeth and found that I have 5 cavities. I have never had a cavity filled, so I am nervous! I only have 3 wisdom teeth and when I go in for my cavities to be filled, they will take molds and discuss having them removed based on what they feel they can do in the office. They may have to refer me to an oral surgeon.

Moving on...........

Jimmy and I have had something going on nearly every night. When he was working, I was nose deep in books and if I'm being honest, this semester is starting to wear on me. I feel like my English professor doesn't give me time to breathe in between assignments. I have written more papers this semester than I can count.

Monday, I had math class. I am counting down the days until this class is over. Enough said.

Tuesday, Jimmy worked and I got started on my English essay. Comparing literary concepts in the "Chrysanthemums" and in the poem "The Ache of Marriage" is a BLAST.

Wednesday, we ran all over the place looking for a costume for Harper. We ended up not finding the one we wanted and had to settle on another one. I'll post pics later.

Thursday was Jimmy's 2nd day off and we did the standard grocery trip amongst other things that I can't remember. Later that night, we took Harper to Jimmy's mom's house and then to a friend of his dad's for their Halloween night with him. It was fun to dress him up and feed him cookies and candy! He enjoyed it, I must say.

Today, Jimmy and I had to run to the mall. He was getting a hat made for work and I ran into Forever 21 just because it was next to the kiosk. I ended up getting a headband, a black belt, a brown belt, a black tank top and a pair of awesome aviator sunglasses for about 20 bucks. Score! This afternoon, I headed to my mom and dad's to spend the weekend so they could see Harper in all his Halloween garb. We have a lot on the agenda for this weekend, so I will be sure to post pics later.

On Monday, we will be headed back to Richlands, to PICK UP OUR PUPPY!!!! I can't tell you how excited Jimmy and I are. I won't be able to play with her for long on that day because I have a test in my math class that night... UGH.

Anyway, stay tuned for pictures later!

The last few days

Jimmy has been off work this weekend (except tonight where he is working a part-time contract), so we have been taking it easy. Yesterday, I felt like death warmed over. And I know I looked like it too. I think I got whatever Harper had that caused his little runny nose a few days ago and I laid on the couch for the majority of the day.

We ventured out to a shopping center yesterday for a very brief trip to get a little more Christmas shopping done. I am determined to have it all done by the first week in December since we will be moving shortly thereafter. I figure things will be hectic enough as it is and I don't want the added stress of last minute shopping hanging over my head.

Today, we had lunch with Jimmy's grandma and his step-mom. Afterward, we headed back here where we all ended up taking a nap. I was still feeling a little under the weather from yesterday, not to mention the fact that Jimmy and I were tired because we were up until about 2:30am watching "Newlyweds" DVDs. I just knew he would love it and he does!

Tomorrow we are definitely, without a doubt, going to church if it kills me! We haven't been in so long, I'm sure our Sunday School class thinks we've fallen off the face of the earth. I think we are heading back over to Jimmy's dads afterward to hang out with his grandma a little more before she leaves to go home.

On a side note, I am so bummed that I haven't been able to blog as much lately! School has been taking up a lot of my time but it doesn't feel as unmanageable as it did last semester, I think I just have a case of "senioritis" as it applies to someone who almost has their Associate's Degree. I'm in my last semester and I've completely lost my steam. I still have at least a year and a half to go after I graduate, but I'm just ready to get on with it. I still don't know if I have been accepted to NC State because they lost one of my transcripts and I had to order a new one. The suspense is killing me! I thought I would have known for sure by now. Keep praying for me :)

Good night all!

Beach Bums

I FINALLY convinced my husband to take me to the beach, so he begrudgingly got ready and drove us down there. My argument was that we have a very short time between now and fall semester, so we need to enjoy the time off. Pretty good huh?

His dad met us at the Seaside Club where he is a member, so that we could park in their parking lot :)

The sky was overcast and it was about 85 degrees. The weather couldn't have been more perfect. Harper had a quite a time floating around. I love how he kicks his feet out in front of him while floating in true beach bum fashion.




Notice in the picture below, my husband's arms are awkwardly bowing out. I have concluded that this is because he is so used to wearing his police belt, that he unconciously wears his "invisible belt" while off duty. hahaha.. too funny.






We stayed for about two hours and then headed home to get ready to go out with friends tonight. After we were ready we dropped Harper off at his Pa Pa's house (his babysitter for the night) and I tried my best to get him to take some pictures with me. He wasn't really having it.





We had a great time tonight and we love the fact that our church has provided us a place to get to know other couples our age with kids! Speaking of church, I need to go to bed so I'll actually get up and go tomorrow.

Yay for today!

I have had a really great day today! It all started this morning when my weekly child "J" came back after being gone the first 3 days of this week. This makes the second week in a row he's been gone for the first 3 days and I hope his time with us during the week becomes more consistent for both he and Harper's sake. J cried for only a few minutes this morning after his mom left, but rather than just trying to comfort him as he sat by the front door, I physically picked him up, put him on the couch and fed him breakfast right there while he watched cartoons. He was fine and playing in no time.

Score #1!
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After breakfast, he and Harper played nicely and before I knew it, Jimmy was coming back from class and it was time to begin lunch preparations. We ate and I put Harper and J down for their afternoon nap. I took the quiet time as an opportunity to pay bills (ugh) and call Cape Fear CC to inquire about their distance learning program through UNCP. I had already convinced myself that the classes offered at CFCC would not be condusive to people who work full time, but I was wrong!!! In fact, a lot of the classes are offered at night and online annnnddddd.... I get to choose from SO many other undergrad programs!!! I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Prior to today, I thought that the ONLY way I could get my BA was through Mt. Olive College and their night program. To the tune of..

$19,000.00 in tuition. Yes, you read that right- Nineteen THOUSAND dollars.

Now, I can't rule it out completely yet. Lord knows it may change, but I am going to do my best to stick to UNCP although it will take me longer.

Score # 2!
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After they woke up from their nap, we all went outside for a few minutes, despite the 109 degree heat index and splashed around in the pool. I just don't feel right about keeping these boys within the four walls of this house all day.


After pool-time, we came in and had a popsicle. Not long after, the frame for our King sized bed came in and I am smitten!! I'm laying in it right now and can't get over how spacious and beautiful it is.


Score #3!
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After J left, I collapsed and then played with Harper for a little while. During dinner, Harper screamed to get out of his high-chair, so we obliged. While we were watching him, we noticed that he was paying attention to his shadow and was trying to stomp on it and run from it. It was too cute! He has been rather silly today. Here's proof:



Notice that he is sitting IN the shoe box and the curtains behind him are all crazy. He has been taking it upon himself to climb up on that chest and play with the blinds and curtains all day. I'm afraid he is going to hurt himself!

Today was just an overall good and productive day. Got a few loads of laundry done and I'm ready for the weekend, even though Jimmy is working Fri-Sun night. That just means he'll be off next weekend for July 4th! Yaayy!

These feelings come often, but let me get them off my chest anyway.

I think it's safe to say that we all have good days and bad days. I like to think of my bad days as simply "overwhelmed" days, because there is nothing really "bad" in my life (this is blessing, I know.)

I have been feeling recently like I am stretching myself too thin. A "funk" if you will.

During our Sunday School lesson a few days ago, the message talked about how we, as Christians, sin by doing things that most every American does. Stretching ourselves too thin financially, harboring jealousy in our hearts, over-indulging and not treating our bodies like the temples of God that they are... and lastly....stretching our time too thin. "What?!", I thought to myself. "I didn't know that working hard and having a lot on your plate was a sin."

I've been thinking about that a lot since Sunday and I truly don't see a way around my current schedule. If anything, it's going to get worse by August because I am now on the hunt for a full time job. I'm not over-scheduling myself because I like it.. I'm over-scheduled because I am trying to better myself and the life of my current and future family. My husband is doing the same. Maybe I'm just confused about the message from Sunday, but there is NO way around our situation right now.

Yes, I am ready for life to slow down a little bit. I'm ready to be done with school, but that is a long way from here.

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Another thing that has been bothering me lately is our house situation. We still own a home in Wilson, NC and have renters in place until February. Once February rolls around, they have the option to renew their lease (which they may or may not want to do) and we have the option of letting them renew their lease if we want. I used to work in the Mortgage Industry, so I know that it is highly unlikely that we will be able to purchase a new home for us as long as we still own our home in Wilson, NC. Even if we have renters in place and they are making the payments, we still OWN the home and would be financially responsible if they decided to vacate. No underwriter or mortgage lender is going to say ok to that and I know it.

So..... that means that we are stuck renting if we can't sell our home. I guess renting isn't so bad, but we just want a place to call our own. I am SO tired of moving. I'm tired of stressing out over keeping the carpet immaculate so that we will avoid cleaning fees when we leave. I'm tired of looking at sterile, white walls. I'm tired of not being able to put things where I want them. I'm tired of hearing my neighbors bang around in their kitchen all day every day. I'm SO ready to have some space and a backyard to let my child and my dogs run around in. He is confined to such a small space during the day and if I had a backyard, I could just walk out my back door, let him roam around for a little while and come back in out of the heat instead of packing his diaper bag, getting him out to the car and strapped in, driving to the park and feeling like I have to stay there longer than 10 minutes so that our trip seems "worth it."

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I know that ONE fine day, our lives will slow down. I've never been known for having a ton of patience and that part of my personality is catching up with me today. Most days, I'm fine and I see the greater goal ahead of me. On days like today, however, I get frustrated and impatient and just want to hit fast-forward. I know that I shouldn't wish my life away. I know that I should get past my self-loathing and pity and enjoy this time with my son. There are so many mothers who wish they could stay at home with their children, so I know how blessed I am to be able to be here.

I'll probably be better by tomorrow. In fact, I'm sure of it. I just have these days sometimes where I feel 100% over-extended. Do you ever feel the same way??

Today

I have been working on homework and taking tests since Thursday night of last week. I went home this past weekend to try to sneak in more work, but because I also wanted to spend time with friends and family, I didn't get as much done as I would have liked. Today has truly been a struggle trying to get all my assignments in for my computer class by 11:55pm. I've spent so much time staring at a computer screen, I had to take my contacts out and put on my glasses that do not match the prescription of my contacts. Now I have a splitting headache. Even still, I wanted to post what we've been up to today.

A few days ago, we bought a kiddie pool for Harper and the little guy I babysit for. He has not been here for the past 3 days due to his mom being sick. Jimmy and I thought it would be a great day to inflate the thing and give it a go. Here is Harper patiently waiting for daddy to finish blowing it up...

Not sure why Jimmy looks so serious, but anyway...

Here he is in the water. It couldn't have been a more perfect temperature! If I had not had so much homework today, I would have soaked while he took his afternoon nap.




He wasn't as interested in it as I thought he would be, so we came inside and had a popsicle. As I was tidying up in the kitchen, I see Harper standing to my right and out of the corner of my eye, I see him look down at the floor with much interest. I look over, and this is what I see....



Yes, my child peed on the rug. The freshly washed rug that I was letting dry on the tile floor before I moved it back in front of our sliding glass door. At Jimmy's suggestion, I had taken Harper's diaper off since we weren't going to be in the pool for long. When we came back in, we both forgot that he was diaper-less. Lesson learned.

I should try to get some rest now. Babysitting resumes tomorrow. 'Nuff said.

Goodnight all!!

Harper-isms at 14 months and a few random thoughts.

Before I delve into more homework, I thought I'd take a few minutes for a mental break and blog about my stinky boy. Here are a few things he is doing these days.

1. He follows me EVERYwhere in this house.

2. If he wants me to go somewhere with him, he will walk up to me, grab my hand and pull me off the couch.

3. He still will not say "mama" no matter how many times I say it during the day.

4. Over the weekend at my parents house, he developed a bad habit of FREAKING out every time I change his diaper. He screams to the top of his lungs, tries to roll over, kicks me and the changing table and tries to stand up.

5. We listen to VH1 Jump Start in the mornings so he can dance.

6. I stomp my foot on the floor and he copies me.

7. He is still basically only eating crackers, goldfish, graham crackers and chips. Occaisonally, he will surprise us by eating real food.

8. He is very attached to Jimmy, myself and my mom. He cries whenever we leave the room.

9. He likes to be chased and wants to chase others. I will run from him and he will come behind me and push my legs to keep me running!

10. He can climb on and off the couch and his rocker with no problem.

11. If I find him in his room playing with something he shouldn't, he cries and tries to hide it as soon as he sees me.

12. He imitates me by washing whatever surface is in front of him if I give him a wet wipe.

13. He runs and shakes his head "no" for some reason.

14. He is great at getting our attention by screaming out in a very demanding way.

15. He jibber jabbers quite a lot and I think we are on the verge of a few more words.

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I can't believe that I am about to admit this-but I really like the whole Twilight Saga. I was one of those people who thought it was an over-hyped, sensationalized, dumb thing to give any attention. I especially thought that the grown women who swooned over "Edward" and "Jacob" were ridiculous. Then.... I decided I would rent it from Redbox just to see "what all the fuss was about." After I got past the inital high-school-ish drama of it all, I became intrigued. I watched the second movie the next night and now I am in much anticipation about the release of "Twilight Eclipse" on June 30th.

I realized that people generally fall in love with this movie because it is a classic love story. I liken it to Romeo and Juliet. I don't think it will become AS classic as that story, but who doesn't like to fall in love, right? Who doesn't love having a guy swoon over you?

Speaking of Twilight, has anyone else thought that the song by Muse that has been released to go along with this movie, could not be more perfect?? It's so romantic and moody. I particular love the piano solo starting at 3:12. Beautiful!! (I am not even going to try to put the video on here.)
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This really is completely random---but I find Kesha OBNOXIOUS. I hate everything she puts on the radio, incluiding "Tik Tok." I don't care how popular it is, it's a song about going out and getting wasted. How classy. Can we find something else to sing about please?

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I have successfully figured out how to give myself an at-home french manicure. It takes a little while, but the end result it worth it. I purchased this kit from Target a few weeks ago:

It comes with "nail guides" that are basically stickers that you place beneath the white tip of your nail and use the white polish to paint your nail above the sticker. I had NO luck with these at all, so I basically just paint the white right onto the tip of my nail. Yes, it can annoying, but I like the fact that my nails look great and I have avoided a salon trip and about $25!

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That's all for now. My brain is still hurting, but I must shower and get started on another assignment.

Til next time...

A week in review and T.G.I.F!!!!!

Like I mentioned in the last post, I started babysitting on Monday and this week has been ROUGH. It's been hard on the little guy I'm babysitting, Harper and myself because it's such a big adjustment for all of us. I'm happy to announce, however, that I have definitely found my stride with these boys. I have a pretty good "schedule" ironed out and there are things that change every day. Day before yesterday, we went grocery shopping.

Yesterday, the beach

and today will be Target. Right now, I still wait until Jimmy gets up so that he can go with us and that makes it tons easier. I'm sure I'll get to the place where I feel like I can take both of them out on my own, but I'm not quite there yet.

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I'm going home to see my folks this weekend and I'm so excited! I'll be able to rest up and catch up on some school work. Yes, you heard that right... excited about school work. I plan to slather on some sunscreen and hang out on the back porch while reading my psychology book. I still have SOOOOOO much reading to do.. I think the professor is OUT of his mind, but whatever. We are planning to go to church on Sunday and I'm so glad because I haven't been able to go the last 2 weeks. Wisdom tooth issues and last week, we were all sick.

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Last night, Jimmy informed me that he is off for FOURTH OF JULY! I know that's a little ways away, but just knowing that we can actually hang out together on a holiday is so exciting to me. We can actually make plans! Woo hoo!


That's all I have for now, folks. Nothing too eventful, but I like it that way. Just getting through the day now is quite the accomplishment!

Have a WONDERFUL FWI-DAY!

I'm still here...

I just started babysitting on Monday on top of my regular duties as a stay-at-home mom and 3 online classes. I have been EONS beyond exhausted these last few days. I have quickly realized that I am in NO way ready to even *think* about adding to our family. I know a lot of moms start to get the itch again when their baby is about a year old. Jimmy and I have discussed future plans and even those have been pushed back as far as I'm concerned... haha. I'm just being honest.

I don't have much planned for the next two days other than to get through them. I'll be heading home to visit my folks this weekend and hopefully get some much needed rest.

I'm nervous, but I have scheduled a hair appointment 2 weeks from Saturday. It's going to be hard to wait that long... my hair looks and feels a mess. It needs a trim badly. I'm also nervous about the color because I usually walk away with something that I didn't ask for. Hair stylists seem to take liberties with me and I don't know why!

I'm going to go crawl into the fetal position and watch Golden Girls..

Good night!

(pic from our Train Museum trip this past Sunday.)

Apologizing in advance

I really hope whoever reads this blog does not think I am the most negative person in the world. I can't hide my disappointment and it makes me feel better to write it out and get it off my chest. I promise I'm a happy person, it's just that I have faced so many obstacles the last few years of my life when it comes to school and I'm ready for a break. I know, cry me a river....

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It's 12:45 am and I'm doing homework. Well, actually, I'm blogging, but my books are right here beside me. I've been going at it for hours. As disappointed as I am about the Sonography Program not working out for me, I am very proud of myself for having a plan B and being prepared. The three classes that I am taking this summer will give me the last of the hours I need to start the Bachelors Degree program in September. Yay!

I'm taking Developmental Psych, CIS 110 and Intro to Sociology. I've already had CIS 111, but for WHATEVER reason, I have to have CIS 110 for this Fall.
(Careful, or I'll go into a tangent about how much of a money pit I think colleges try to be.) I'm sure she explained it to me, but my mind has been a mush of classes, tests, scores, program req's, homework and stress for the last 9 months and it's been difficult to keep it all straight. In fact, my family is always asking me what classes I'm taking this summer, even though I've told everyone a hundred times... haha. It's just been so much these last few months, I know it's hard to keep up with.
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Jimmy is working tonight and then has a makeup softball game tomorrow morning. Basically, he gets off work at 6:00am and the game could easily start at 9 or 10am. I asked him what in the world he is thinking and he said, "I'm gonna play because it makes me feel like I have a normal life." (He was referencing his schedule.) That is so funny and so sad all at the same time.

I'll sign off now. I have a busy weekend and will update when things slow down.

Goodnight!

Test Results, Day 2

After Harper woke up from his nap around 11:30, I woke Jimmy to see if he wouldn't mind watching him so that I could drive to the mailbox. Yes, drive to the mailbox. We live in a townhouse complex and I didn't have the patience to walk today. Jimmy staggered out of bed and I flew out the door in my pajamas and flip flops. Don't be jealous.

In the 1 minute that it took me to get there, I thought I was going to puke. I ran up to the little metal door, stuffed my key in.....nothing.

Ok, it's cool. I'll just check it in about an hour. I drive back, tell Jimmy that we have some errands to run and we all get dressed to go to Wal-Mart. WHY they don't build a Target on this side of town, I'll never know.

We run in and get wipes, milk, carpet cleaner and peanut butter crackers. We go to the shortest checkout line, which happens to be the "20 items or less" line, but every single person has waaaaaaay more than 20 items. We sit there patiently, finally make it to the cashier, pay and dart out. We stop at Chic-fil-A for lunch. We go through the drive thru and then head home. As soon as we pull into the complex, I SEE the mail lady. My heart is racing. I grab my keys and dart over to the mailboxes. I tell myself that whatever happens will be ok. I open the door. THERE is mail. I sift through it. Junk, junk, an invitation to my cousin's 2nd birthday party, junk...... and THAT'S IT. NO TEST SCORES. Are you kidding me? The proctor said he was getting them in the mail yesterday. I live a few miles from the college, WHY aren't they here yet?

At this point, I get mad. I'm mad that I have to wait yet another 24 hours for these scores. I'm mad because Harper has a Dr. appointment tomorrow which will include shots, so that means that tomorrow can turn into a REALLY bad day. Shots and the possiblity of realizing that what I've been working toward for almost a year has been washed down the drain. Sounds fun huh?


At least tonight is the finale of Dancing with the Stars and the first night of the finale for American Idol. At least I can escape my thoughts for a few hours.

Ugggghhhh. I am just praying that they get here tomorrow. If they don't, I'm going to have a heart attack. Keep praying people, keep praying

Test Results, Day 1

They didn't come today. The anticipation is killing me. The only thing that came was two new medical bills. Fantastic. The test proctor said that he was probably going to put the results in the mail today, so I obviously knew that it was a stretch to think they'd be here today! I was secretly hoping he put them in the mail on Friday :). I'm assuming I will get them tomorrow. My hands are cold and clammy. I HATE waiting for things like this, I just don't handle it well at all. My stomach is in knots and I feel like I have heartburn. Holy Anxiety Batman.

I've been working on getting into this program since August of 2009. That is when I had to sign up for a math class online to meet one of the minimum requirements. I worked my BUTT off to get my "B" in between a full time job with sometimes 10 hour days, a new baby, my grandmother passing away,Jimmy's crazy schedule, having to take continuing ed courses to maintain my license as a Mortgage Loan Officer and waiting by the phone to hear if Jimmy got the job at the Police Department down here.

In January, I started my Physics class which is the other minimum requirement I needed. Being able to take that class was a HUGE sacrifice on our part because I had to be available to go to class--they did not offer it online. So... we decided that I would stay home with Harper this past semester and of course go to my class twice a week. I had to work my butt off in that class too because Math and Science are not my thing. I finally got my "B" not too long ago and then started stressing about this exam.

If I do meet the minimum percentile scores, that still does not mean that I got in. It just means that my past courses, grades and my PSB scores will all be calculated against others who have applied (they've had as many as 198 in the past) and only the top 10 will be asked into the program this Fall. 10 PEOPLE. THAT'S IT.

I know I keep saying these things over and over again, but my blog is where I can unload. I stress about it so much. I keep telling myself that I have a plan B, but I REALLY want this. SO BAD.

I know that these couselors and teachers have no idea the sacrifices that Jimmy and I have made for me to be able to do this, but I wish they did! If I don't get in, I will be crushed. Do you hear me????? Crushed.

Ok, I feel a little better now. Just keep praying for me. Pray for my nerves and pray that God's plan be done, even if it's not what I want.

Well, that's over!

So, I took my PSB this morning. I was running late--which I HATE. I have a really hard time getting up in the morning, but I did and I threw my makeup on as I was driving. (Please don't tell Oprah.) The test was scheduled for 8:30am and I always forget how bad Wilmington traffic is. I finally got there around 8:25am and RAN, through the halls. I almost skidded around the corner and everyone who was in line to take the test was STARING at me. They must have heard my flip flops pounding the floor as I got closer. I just smiled- I didn't care. I got there in time!

The test started around 8:45 and we had to work through the following sections.

Arithmetic (NO CALCULATORS ALLOWED)
Spelling
Reading Comprehension
Natural Science and Physics
Some personality examination

It was long and tedious. I left with a headache around 11:15. I generally feel a little better about this test as opposed to the last time I took it. I should get my scores by the middle of next week. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm trying to stay optimistic.

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Tonight, Jimmy was able to play a game with our church softball league. They creamed the other team. I think it was 28 to 7. I thought about taking pics but to tell you the truth, we are just visiting this church and I didn't want to be the weirdo wife taking pics at the game where I don't know a soul. Not to mention, I am exhausted and didn't want to move my tush from the bleachers. We do plan to join the church very soon. He just asked me to mention that he had a home run. There, you happy honey??

I'm super tired and I think it's time to call it a night!

Mixed feelings.

It goes without saying that I am a planner. Maybe even a super planner. I wasn't always like this. I think when I met Jimmy, I was forced into it. This is because my husband is the polar opposite of a planner (although he's come a LOOOONG way.) If I didn't keep us on track, no one would.

I know I've talked about school a hundred times and I'm sure those around me are sick of hearing about it, but it makes me feel better to get my thoughts out there.

So here is my dilemma:

I'm taking my PSB on Friday. If you read back further in my blog, I explain the process of the PSB and how my scores determine whether I get into the Sonography Program. Part of me wants to get in and part of me doesn't. I have a back up plan if I don't. I'll get to that in a minute.

You see, if I get in, I will be going to school for 2 years straight. Summer semester and all. It will be full time with probably zero possibility of me working. Obviously, that poses a problem. Yes, I've been staying home with Harper for the past few months, but I've also been free childcare. If I go back to school full time while Jimmy is working full time (let's not forget that he is going back to school too), then we'd have to hire a sitter or put him in daycare. Without me working, I'm not sure how that would work out. It's expensive! At the same time, getting through the program would be A LOT less tuition out as opposed to plan B. The instructors also say that the salary for a sonographer on average is really great. Obviously that is a plus.

My plan B is going to Mt. Olive and finishing out my Bachelors Degree. They have a program that allows you to go one night a week for a year and a half and boom-you have your Bachelors. Obviously if I'm only going to school one night a week, then I can work full time. If I'm working full time and our house in Wilson has sold, then we can get out of this 2 bedroom 2 bath townhouse. It's super nice, but the walls are closing in on all of us. We have zero storage and are packed in here like sardines. Harper's toy collection is only growing and there is only so much clutter that I can handle. He, as well as my two dogs, NEED a yard to play in. He loves being outside and where we are, he only has a small concrete slab outside our back door that is reserved for my dogs to go and use as their bathroom. They have to go out a hundred times a day and I can't put them on a leash and take them to the grass every time.

Also, if I'm working full time, Jimmy and I can move forward with our "plans" to expand our family. I use quotes there because it is a very loose plan. We will have another baby when the time is right.

So there is why I say I have mixed feelings. Obviously, I know that these are all my plans and ultimately, it is in God's hands. I know this, I pray for it, but it's hard for me to let go of MY plans sometimes.

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a goal and working toward it. I do feel, however, that the last year of my life has been constant change, adaptation and always focusing on tomorrow, next month and next year. I feel like my life is disappearing right before my eyes. I really struggle with just living in the moment. I am trying so hard to work on that, but it's hard because I feel like I am on such a rigorous schedule. Every day runs into the next.

Please pray for me on Friday. Pray that God's plan be done for my life and the life of my family. I'll get my scores back about 4 days after the exam and I will let everyone know how it went.

**Update!**

I got a B in Physics! I don't know how I managed to pull that off, but I did! Thank you to everyone who supported and encouraged me along the way. I'm not great at Math and Science, but I pulled it off!

Stressin'

I have been DYING to get the place where I can write about what's going on day to day, so I'm really excited that I'm finally there. Since December, I have been staying at home full time with Harper. Jimmy and I moved from Wilson to where we currently live and decided that along with our move, I would stay home with him and go to school. Being a stay-at-home mom has been so challenging and rewarding at the same time. There was a week or two where I really felt like the walls were closing in on me, but after I got adjusted to a schedule, it was much easier to get through the day. Just as I was starting to get used to our schedule here at home, Jimmy was switched from working days to nights. I can't even tell you how much that threw Harper and I off, but once again, we are adjusting. I'm still planning to blog about Jimmy's job here in the near future. Believe me, I have a lot to say....

Please say a prayer for me as I enter into the last few weeks of the semester. For those of you who don't know, I am trying to get into the ultrasound program at CFCC and it is VERY competitive. They only accept 10 people per year and I'm just hoping that I'll be one of them this fall. I spent years 2005 through 2009 chasing the dental hygiene program at several community colleges close to where I lived at the time, but the minimum requirements for that program changed EVERY single year. By the time I would find out about the changes, it was always too late to sign up for whatever ridiculous class I'd need to even be considered and I would have to push back trying to be accepted one more year. During these years, I got engaged, got married, had a baby and of course had to juggle all of the obligations along with all of these, so I finally accepted the fact that maybe God was trying to tell me that this wasn't the career for me. That was a hard pill to swallow, because I am not a quitter, but I certainly don't have another 4 years to waste trying to get into that program.

I currently have all the minimum requirements to get into the Sonography (ultrasound) program at CFCC except for Physics. I am taking that class now and have to pass with a "C" or better to meet that requirement. THEN, I have to take the PSB exam and score within certain percentiles to be considered for the program. If I meet those cutoff scores, my scores will be analyzed using a point-count worksheet that will award me with points for the results of the PSB exam AND classes that I've taken in the past (only specific classes, however). These point count worksheets will all be reviewed and the 10 people with the highest scores will be extended an offer to the program. The program is 2 years long, INCLUDING summer semesters. Did ya follow all of that? Needless to say, it is cut throat, but I am doing my best.



I have decided that if I don't get into the program, I will just finish my Bachelor's degree and be done with it. I see it as a win-win situation on both hands, so I'm trying not to sweat it. I have a lot of encouragement from both sides of my family, so I know I can get through it either way.

Anyway, this is what I'm focusing on right now and hopefully I'll ace the PSB and have some good news for you some time in June!