Midweek Confessions

Ok, I have to admit that I have been a complete slacker on the blog lately and there are many reasons.

1. Mainly, things have just been pretty ordinary (and we have ALL had the stomach flu.) I hate to say that things haven't been "blog-worthy" because even the most ordinary days are always fun to look back on. I can't find the charger cord for my camera, therefore I haven't really taken any pictures.

2. I've also taken the bull by the horns this week with Miss Hollin.

I've talked so much about her fussiness and lack of schedule. I've decided once and for all that I am going to implement a strict schedule with her, even if it means confining myself to my house for days and weeks on end. It has got to be done. Hopefully, once she has adjusted, we can veer a little bit.

3. So, with that, I am going on a bit of a blogging break. I don't mean weeks on end, just a little breather to focus on my little family and get inspired again. Maybe a few days or so.

Be back soon with fun stuff!

On the other side

I struggled a little bit over whether to blog about this or not. Ultimately, my blog is how I document my life and I felt that I would regret not sharing what is going on.

We received news yesterday that Jimmy has been moved to a 9am-9pm schedule and will no longer be working nights. He starts on Friday morning and both of us are thrilled beyond words.

The reason I hesitated to share is because I feel slightly guilty that things are finally starting to get a little easier for us. I'm not sure why.

I think a lot of it is because I read so many blogs and see so many people hurting around me. There is a young lady in our Sunday School class that lost her baby last year within 24 hours of her induction. She became pregnant again this year and during her pregnancy found out that she has stage IV lung cancer that has spread throughout her body. Her baby girl was delivered early and is still in the NICU. Please, please pray for them.

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Last year at this time, we were smack in the middle of the terrible twos. I was pregnant, with gestational diabetes and having to go to the Dr. all the time. Jimmy worked nights and I struggled to deal with the tantrums and nighttime routine while dealing with my fatigue. Our little girl was born and after a 5 week stay with us, he headed back to working nights while I recovered from a C-section.

Harper began lashing out terribly at preschool. We literally went nowhere. I simply could not manage my 2 year old for the longest time. When Hollin was born, we stayed in even more. We didn't do anything unless it was one of Jimmy's days off, which were few and far between. By the time we ran all of the errands I had to put off, managed babies and spent time with other family members, Jimmy and I almost zero quality time with each other.

The last 2 years have been outright hard. They have been lonely. I didn't blog about the times I called Jimmy, crying, and told him that I felt as if his job was eating me alive. I didn't blog about the tantrums that Harper would throw every single night when trying to get him ready for bed. I didn't blog about the times I had to get up with Hollin 6 times a night without him here to say, "Will you please take this shift?". I didn't blog about having to get up with Harper the next day, on maybe 2 hours of sleep while Jimmy slept off the night before. There are so many things I didn't say.

I didn't write about it because I tried so hard to stay positive. I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I tried to focus on the good parts of my life. I wanted to document mostly good because blogging about the bad would only make me dwell on it more.

We are finally in our home. My mom just moved here and is living with us temporarily until their home is built. Jimmy has been moved to daytime hours. Harper's behavior is better. I feel like I can handle Hollin better, even though she is still pretty demanding. I have help. We are getting out, going places.

I feel like we are on the other side of things.

I am not trying to make a hero of myself by any means. There have been so many moments when I've caved. When I said, "I can't do this anymore" and wanted to lock myself in my room.

I never thought I'd see today.

I know this change is so desperately needed for my family. At the same time, I know so many of you are struggling. I see it around me and read about it daily.

I'm happy for us, but I'm more excited to start watching things turn around for the friends I've made through this blog! I pray for all of you, every day.

Philippians 4:6-7

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ.

Love,

Our Easter 2012

Easter this year seemed to creep up on us so fast! We decided to go to our church's Sunrise service at 7am. I had my doubts that we could make it, but we did.

The Lord was looking after us this particular morning because I was able to get both babies dressed in 10 minutes. Harper didn't throw a tantrum and Hollin kept on sleeping during wardrobe change, haha. We didn't wake up until 6 and the service started at 7. Needless to say, we were rushing.

Here is my stinker trying to open candy at 6:20am.


I was in such a rush to get out the door, I had to do Hollin's Easter bucket later in the day.


We arrived at the service just as the choir was singing and it was so awesome to hear the message as the sun was coming up. It was held at Airlie Gardens, in front of an oak tree that is estimated to be over 400 years old.

My parents went with us this year, which was so nice. I have photos of them, but my mom is not a fan of being on my blog haha. So here is a picture of Harper and dad.

And here is little Hollin with her wonky bow. I tried 3 times to make a headband with it, but it just didn't work.

After the service, a few Sunday school friends and I organized a little Easter egg hunt. Most of the photos I took were blurry (seriously, I'm so annoyed with myself. My hubby seems to think it's my vision because he takes the clearest pictures ever.) I borrowed these from my friend's facebook.

Here is Harper hugging her little girl, Eliza. She is not quite 2.

Probably one of my favorite pictures to date.

The moment quickly passed when Harper lost his balance. They both went tumbling and well.....


She was a good sport. And so were her parents. Thankfully.

Harper apparently had to use the restroom, so we left not long after.


I wanted a family Easter photo, but this was the best we could get.


We headed over to my father-in-laws house for a quick brunch. Hollin fell asleep so sweetly in Jimmy's arms. Love these two.


I sort of stopped taking pictures as this point. A week of non-stop going and party planning on top of getting up so early kind of hit me all at once. I ate, socialized and then came home to crash.

Every year at this time, I am humbled by the magnitude of Easter's meaning. It makes everything I piddle with seem so insignificant. It doesn't really matter if my photos are blurry or if we can't get a good family photo. As a mom, I absolutely want to preserve these memories in photos the best I can, but ultimately, it isn't that important. What's important is that we recognize what Jesus did for us and to live for Him each day.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.

John 11:25-26
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. (NIV)

Early Easter Festivities

Yesterday, Harper attended his first preschool Easter Egg hunt!

I really wanted Harper to wear the bowtie he wore on Easter last year, but he just wouldn't have it.

What a handsome little devil.


After listening to them sing a few bunny songs, the hunt was on!




My sweet girl had a great time watching her brother, too. She lights up when she sees him. It's the sweetest thing.


Here is our little ham with the rest of his class.


I'm so thankful for little activities like this. They create so many wonderful memories for the both of us. Now if I can just keep him from fighting other kids over the eggs........

:)

The Help is Here

There have been lots of fun things going on around these parts, but the MOST fun thing is....

My mom is here!!!!!!!

She officially moved to the coast yesterday and we are so happy to have her. If you haven't been following along, catch up here.


Today has been easy-breezy. I can't begin to describe the difference it makes to have an extra set of hands around. Of course, the babies have been perfect little angels today, but they always do that to me :)

Mom wouldn't let me take a picture of her, but she's here and we're having a great time.


On a different note, Harper had a great time a few days ago at the Police Department's "Demo Day!"






Hopefully the only ride he'll ever take back there.




And just for my documentation, Harper watched me make coffee a few days ago and begged for some, so I gave in.


Um, he LOVED it and wanted more! Mommy said no :)

Happy Monday,

Accepting it.

**I have no idea why certain words are linking up to other windows. I'm looking into it. Thanks!**



A few days ago, I pulled out the big rubbermaid container that stores all of my opposite -season clothes. I was kind of excited to be pulling out all of my spring and summer clothes so early. While rummaging through them I realized that most of what I have are dresses. Dresses are great because they are roomy, cool, cute and most importantly able to grow with the expanding belly I had last year.

I just wasn't in a dress mood today. We were taking Harper to the park and I knew there would be a lot of bending and pushing swings, etc, so I decided to look at what shorts I had.

I pulled on one pair that were a little tight the summer before last, but I could still wear them ok.

I couldn't button them.

The only other pair that fit were in the dirty laundry.

Jeans were my next option, but the one pair that really fits me best right now was in the dirty laundry. Notice a pattern here? I looked down and saw at least 4 other pairs in the drawer.

There are some really cute American Eagle jeans laying at the very bottom of my "jean drawer." They've been there since I gave birth to Harper in 2009. One of them is exactly like the pair that I wore on my first date with Jimmy. On at least 5 different occasions since Harper was born, I've tried to put them on.

*Tried.*

It ain't happening.

I keep holding out hope that those date jeans will fit again one day.

I think most of us moms can agree that things are just different after having a baby. I'm not back to my pre-pregnancy weight yet, but there was a time, in between my two babies, that I was. Even then, the darn jeans just didn't fit.

My hips are wider. My body is different, even at pre-pregnancy weight.

I can get back down to pre-pregnancy weight, but there's nothing that will make my hips their pre-childbirth size.

So, with that, I've decided to let the date jeans go. Those and many other pre-baby clothes that I'm still hanging onto. (What's up with the shirts getting shorter?)

I'm putting everything in a box tonight and hauling it off to Plato's Closet, or Clothes Mentor tomorrow. With whatever (teeny) amount they give me for them, I'll go ahead and start buying things that actually fit.

I feel a little silly that part of me is sad about this. I'm letting go of tangible things that remind me of the size I used to be. I tend to hang onto things for sentimental reasons, but what good are those clothes to me now?

The truth is, I have two beautiful (and some say identical-looking) babies to show for it. I've got stretch marks and a sometimes sore, but always numb c-section scar hiding under my clothes.

I may never be the size I once was, but that's ok. I think that adopting a new body when you adopt the life of a mom is part of the job description.

Luckily for all of us, blousy tops are usually always "in." :)

Goodnight and

GO PACK!!

A special Sunday

On Sunday, March 18, we dedicated our sweet baby girl.

I had been looking forward to this for quite a while, because it was very special in so many ways.

First, Hollin wore a beautiful Feltman Brothers dress bought for her by my dad. I thought she looked like such an angel.


The night before, I worked really late on a bracelet for her. It is made of my late grandmother's pearls and a cross from a necklace that I had when I was little.


I borrowed the following poem to go along with her bracelet:

Psalm 52:8
"But I am like an olive tree
Flourishing in the house of God;
I trust in God's unfailing love
for ever and ever."

A dedication gift for our sweet baby girl;
You'll wear this beautiful cross and pearls.

And years from now when you become a bride;
on something "old" you must decide.

Tuck this bracelet in your bouquet with love
from your parents on your special day.

We went to Sunday school where our friends held a nice brunch for us and another couple who was dedicating their little boy.




After brunch, we headed to the Sanctuary where the Director of Children, Jeannie Troutman, walked her down both aisles of the church.






She came back and did the same for our friend's baby, Charlie, and then had prayer. Hollin received a certificate, a precious white bible with her name engraved and a beautiful pink rose.


After the service, we had family over for lunch! It felt so great to share such a special day with our friends and family.

We are so thankful for our sweet babies :)

Spring into change

The gorgeous weather lately has had me all kinds of motivated. I've been motivated to do everything.

Cook.

Clean.

Try new activities with the kids.

Shop. (quite limited here :)

Get outside.

Make the house a home.

Party plan.

Craft.

It's fun to have motivation to do all of these things, but as we moms know, there just aren't enough hours in the day. So what do we do? We focus one what we can, when we can. One thing suffers so that we can get another thing done and so on and so on.

I convinced hubby to try something I've been wanting to do forever. Here's a hint. It's SO hard to figure out what we've done:)

(Blurry night photo. Best I've got.)


I'm so thrilled with the result and I will share pics as soon as I can take a daylight photo.

It seems like it takes three times as long to get a project done as it used to. I am busy trying to entertain/keep babies happy while Jimmy does most of the work. He can only work so much when he is always sleep deprived, so we do what we can. Our house is a complete wreck and I would be mortified if anyone came over, but we have a pretty hallway to show for it!

The babies have been pretty good the last few days. Hollin decided to have her worst meltdown ever today and I think it may be because she didn't feel well.

(You'd think I would've learned to remove my knee from baby photos.)

She cried for at least 30 minutes, if not more. I did let her cry it out. I picked her up after I couldn't take it anymore and she fell asleep. Oh and Harper was saying, "Mama outside, mama, mama, MAMA!!!" the whole time she was screaming. It was fun.


So, that is life right now. I feel like I am in a constant state of "overwhelmed" since Hollin was born, but things are constantly changing and babies keep growing. I try to adapt as best I can. Some days I think I rock at this whole mom-of-two thing and then some days, not so much. I'm trying to soak in all of these little moments. Even the screaming infant, the demanding preschooler, the dog that needs to be let out at the most inconvenient times and the teeny changes that we make to our home when we can find the time. Maybe even the balls of dog hair I can see under my bed and in corners of the house. Mixed with dried chunks of play-doh.

There are so many changes happening here and it's all (mostly) fun. My mom is moving here permanently next week. More on that here. I'm planning for Harper's 3rd birthday party, Easter, preparing for construction to begin and trying to make my house presentable for all of the above. I may even try to throw in a pool party some time this year. I wish I could invite every single one of you!

I'm not going to flatter myself with thinking that I have a ton of readers, but what are you changing/looking forward to?

Happy Friday,

Spring is in the air

The weather here is so nice, we took advantage of some outside time today. After preschool and lunch, Harper jumped on the trampoline he got for Christmas. We have been in the new house since Jan 10th, but we just put it back together this morning.

It's a GREAT way to get ants out of little boy pants.


Hollin enjoyed being outside today too.


There is a gorgeous tree (or bush?) growing in our backyard. I love these flowers, but I don't know what kind of plant it is.


A few nights ago, we tried Hollin on her first baby food. Bananas! She had already tried rice cereal a few nights before the baby food, but she didn't like it.

She made some funny faces, then daddy got her to smile.

Harper said he wanted to help.

I'm hoping that the weather will stay spring-like now, even though we haven't had much of a winter.

I love all seasons, but spring is one of my favorites. I'm so excited about all of the fun things coming up!

Happy Monday,