Test Results, Day 1

They didn't come today. The anticipation is killing me. The only thing that came was two new medical bills. Fantastic. The test proctor said that he was probably going to put the results in the mail today, so I obviously knew that it was a stretch to think they'd be here today! I was secretly hoping he put them in the mail on Friday :). I'm assuming I will get them tomorrow. My hands are cold and clammy. I HATE waiting for things like this, I just don't handle it well at all. My stomach is in knots and I feel like I have heartburn. Holy Anxiety Batman.

I've been working on getting into this program since August of 2009. That is when I had to sign up for a math class online to meet one of the minimum requirements. I worked my BUTT off to get my "B" in between a full time job with sometimes 10 hour days, a new baby, my grandmother passing away,Jimmy's crazy schedule, having to take continuing ed courses to maintain my license as a Mortgage Loan Officer and waiting by the phone to hear if Jimmy got the job at the Police Department down here.

In January, I started my Physics class which is the other minimum requirement I needed. Being able to take that class was a HUGE sacrifice on our part because I had to be available to go to class--they did not offer it online. So... we decided that I would stay home with Harper this past semester and of course go to my class twice a week. I had to work my butt off in that class too because Math and Science are not my thing. I finally got my "B" not too long ago and then started stressing about this exam.

If I do meet the minimum percentile scores, that still does not mean that I got in. It just means that my past courses, grades and my PSB scores will all be calculated against others who have applied (they've had as many as 198 in the past) and only the top 10 will be asked into the program this Fall. 10 PEOPLE. THAT'S IT.

I know I keep saying these things over and over again, but my blog is where I can unload. I stress about it so much. I keep telling myself that I have a plan B, but I REALLY want this. SO BAD.

I know that these couselors and teachers have no idea the sacrifices that Jimmy and I have made for me to be able to do this, but I wish they did! If I don't get in, I will be crushed. Do you hear me????? Crushed.

Ok, I feel a little better now. Just keep praying for me. Pray for my nerves and pray that God's plan be done, even if it's not what I want.