My Adoption Story

My story is something that I have wanted to share for quite some time. I have started to write it again and again, but the words just weren't there.  It is deeply personal, but I love to share it for those who are willing to listen. This topic is something that I am very passionate about, so I hope that you will understand adoption a little more and know a little bit more about me at the end of this post :)

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My adoption was closed.  This means that I know very, very little about my birth mother.....

She was married. Twice, she conceived by her husband, but aborted those pregnancies. Her reason was that she had "no time" for children because of her career. I do not know what job or career she had.

She became pregnant a third time, with twins. She delivered them, a boy and a girl and gave one to a fraternal Aunt and Uncle and the other to a maternal Aunt and Uncle. I do not know if these were legal adoptions or a mutual understanding between family members.

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Then there was me.  Her fourth pregnancy.


I was conceived outside of her marriage, with another married man. When her husband learned of this pregnancy, he left her.

I was born on October 12, 1984. I don't know what time I entered the world. Or at what hospital. I do know what county, but that is all I know about the location of my birth.  There are no pictures of my birth (that I know of) and no stories of a long or short labor.

She was 24 years old when I was born.  She had a petite frame and was a heavy smoker. I have been told that she had no pre-natal care. I don't know the color of her hair or her eyes or anything physically specific.

What I do know is that I was born in a hospital in county not too far from here and by law, I stayed with her for three days.  At the end of those three days, she signed the papers and I went to live with a foster family.

My foster family named me Joy Wayne.  What a name, right? They named me Joy because they said I was a joy to have in their home.  Wayne was the county that I was born in.  I lived with them until I was 6 months old and on April 2nd, 1985, I was brought home by Donald and Kathy Gardner.

They are my mom and dad.  Always have been and always will be. They prayed and waited 8 years for a child and I hope that I am as much of a blessing to them as they are to me.  I am still young, but have lived a very full and happy life.  I have no abandonment issues because I am adopted. My mom and dad told me that I was adopted before I was old enough to really understand.  I used to tell everyone that I was adopted, because it made me feel so special.

I still feel that way.

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In my 28 years, I have had a lot of time to think about being adopted and what it really means to me.  Before I was married and had children of my own, it was just part of me and my story. Now that I am a wife and mother, I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for my biological mother to sign those papers.  Maybe it wasn't hard?  Maybe she knew she was making the best decision she could for me.

She had terminated pregnancies before. Why didn't she abort me and move on with her life, as if nothing ever happened?

The short answer is God.  He is why I am here.  When I really take a moment to think about how my life began, I realize that it is a miracle that I am here.

I never take my life for granted and I thank Him everyday for sparing my life and guiding my biological mother through what I imagine was a very difficult time.

What would I say if I ever met her?

Thank you.

Thank you for giving me my life.