Overwhelmed..

I just had to sit and write about what's going on in my life. One day I will look back and be proud that I made it through, but in this moment, I am overwhelmed.

Two weeks ago, we received an official email from the powers-that-be at the bank. We were told that we would find out sometime between Feb 19-Feb 22nd about our employment. These last two weeks have been some of the longest of my life.  I will find out Thursday, Feb. 21st if I am keeping my job or not. I have never wanted time to hurry up so much. I feel so guilty that it's been at the front of my mind and a distraction for so long. I feel as if I have not been as focused on my little ones because of it. I'm so ready to move on with my life and get this off my mind. It's been there since September.

On Wednesday, my uncle unexpectedly passed away. I call him my uncle, but he was really my mom's uncle by marriage. I hadn't seen him in quite some time, but his passing was so unexpected. I wanted to drop everything and return home, but I couldn't. The logistics of Jimmy's job, my job and the kids (and travel) make it so difficult to get back home for anything. I couldn't make it home for the funeral and I felt so guilty about that.

2 days later, another uncle passed. Again, my mom's uncle by marriage. I was closer to him and will always remember him for giving me Juicy Fruit chewing gum at church when I was a little girl. I will remember his laugh and how he loved to tell me stories. He was loved by so many, including myself. I have made arrangement to return home tomorrow for his funeral. I have been asked to play the violin for his service and as honored as I am, I know it will be hard. It's not very easy to be strong for the family when you are front and center, playing songs that their loved one enjoyed.

On a completely different note, we are so busy sometimes, it feels like we/I can't breathe. Between Jimmy's work schedule, mine, his school schedule, household responsibilities, Preschool schedule and activities and chasing a 15 month old, I am just worn out. I think the stress of not knowing what will happen with my job only exacerbates things.

I could go on and on, but just writing about all of this makes me tired.

With the bad, there is good, however. We start construction on my parent's home next week. There are events that Jimmy and I are looking forward to in the coming months.  We are so blessed.  Just busy. Life can be so overwhelming sometimes and can throw curveballs at the worst times.

Please say a prayer for me this week.  I have a lot on my plates, but will get through it.........


 Hopefully :)