Manly Mondays pt 2 : Babies on the brain

I have always known that I wanted children.  I've always been a natural at it and since I was about eight or nine years old, I was dubbed the neighborhood babysitter.  

Fun fact:  I officially feel old now...seeing that one of the girl I used to babysit is now married and expecting.  Anyways....

So naturally, after Ashlynn and I got married, we started planning our little family.  I knew that she was going to be an awesome mom!!

I wouldn't say that we started trying for a baby right away, but we didn't really prevent it either..if you're picking up what I'm putting down.  If I'm being perfectly honest with y'all, I pestered her to death about having a baby.  I do feel bad about that now.... I wish we had taken a year or two to just be newlyweds and focus on our relationship, maybe even take a few vacations.  I can count the number of vacations we have taken on one hand.  

If you know me then you know that patience is not my strongest asset.  I knew that we were going to make the coolest parents ever and I wanted to start cranking those suckers out.  

About nine months into our marriage, Ashlynn had a little surprise for me.  I won't bore you with all the details, but I loved Ashlynn's pregnancy.  I never thought she could be more beautiful, but to see her carrying our child was amazing.  I have never seen her look more beautiful..and sexy.  She would disagree, but I happen to think that a little baby bump is HOT.

I was beside myself with excitement.  It was actually happening.. I WAS GOING TO BE A DADDY!  Bring on the hunting trips and baseball games.  Little did I know that all those cool, manly things I envisioned doing with a newborn (like going to Hooters) would boil down to making Target trips a few times a week.  Weeeee!!

In April of 2009 we welcomed our little prince, Harper James.  

The birth experience was awesome and when his big ol' head finally popped out I felt like a new man.  I had a son.. how awesome was this?!?  I didn't think that our lives could get any better.  I was fortunate enough to have saved up enough comp. time through police academy that I stayed home for six weeks with Ashlynn and our little/giant bundle of joy.  Just seeing my wife as a new mom often brought tears to my eyes.  She was so nurturing and I knew that our son was in good hands.  I did what I could for them around the house and stuff, but I knew that I couldn't hold a candle to what she was doing for him.  He was such and easy baby.  Sure there was the typical late night feeding and stuff, but it wasn't that bad for me.  I just had to go get him, hook him up to a bewb (whether Ashlynn was awake or not) and watch him wiggle around with his little duck tail curls.  We tried to make the best of the time, knowing that we would both have to go back to work soon.

Through the years Harper has been a blessing in our lives.  The poor little guy has been our little test dummy as we stumbled through the early stages of parenthood.  However, with this blessing comes a lot of pressure and responsibility.  We have been tasked with raising a man...a godly, kind, and good man.  He has shown such promise and possesses a brilliant mind.  Even his understanding of his budding spirituality leaves me speechless at times.  I look forward to seeing him grow into the Dr./ Vet/ Dentist/ Engineer he wants to be (yep, all four at the same time). He will make good husband to a very lucky girl one day.  I am truly humbled to be his father.

On to Miss Hollin Kea....

Lets just say it didn't take nine months of trying for her to arrive.  I think Ashlynn can tell you the exact day, time, and scent of the Glade plug-in that was burning at the time.  The Dr. warned us that she might be highly fertile after coming off of Mirena and she wasn't exaggerating....first and only (test) try....BOOM!!

Not long after we found out that we were having a little girl.  I was overjoyed, until the panic set in.  I didn't known anything about baby girls.  And you know what baby girls turn into.....high school and college girls.   

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! I guess this is payback for the horrible teenage thoughts and actions I've had.  But once she was born, none of that mattered anymore.

We welcomed our little pumpkin on Halloween 2011.  I never thought I could love anything as much I our son.  Hollin was breathtakingly gorgeous and stole my heart instantly.  I cannot begin to describe to love I have for that little girl.  To see Ashlynn with her for the first time was unforgettable.  Unfortunately, Ashlynn was on the back end of a c-section so she doesn't remember it...

Boy did Harper have us fooled.  He was so easy and content to be doing his own thing.  Hollin was not.  She.. is.. all.. girl...

She demands our attention at all times, didn't sleep through the night until she was about 20 months old, and has one volume (ear shattering).  But every struggle and battle is worth it.  She is such a little momma and walks around all day tending to her little baby dolls as if they are living, breathing babies.  Its truly amazing to watch her maternal instincts shine through.

She is determined, hard headed, and is not afraid to pick a fight with her big brother.  I pray that she will one day find a godly,pure man that is worthy of her heart.....Speaking of which...

source

I'm gonna have some fun with her future ..."dates"

Like it or not, her daddy is a 6'5", 250lb COP and I will make high school boys pee themselves every chance I get. Ashlynn and I butt heads on this from time to time, but I have guns, lots and lots of guns.  This will be a commonly known fact about Hollin's crazy daddy.  It will take a very special young man to get the opportunity to get close to her.  God help the poor target...young man who breaks her heart.

This little girl has me wrapped around her finger and she knows it.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.  

The jury was out on if we would try for a third and after some thinking and praying we decided that for now our hands were full...for now...   So imagine our surprise when we found out we were expecting again in March of this year.

It was almost surreal.  I couldn't imagine how life with three was going to play out while we had one who was well practiced for her terrible twos.  After a while the shock wore off and we were both really excited.  We even started to introduce the kiddos to the idea of a baby brother or sister.  We had decided on a great name and began planning the nursery.

About 6 weeks in things took a hard left turn.  Long story short, we lost the baby.  We were devastated.  But this was God's will and He has a plan for us.  I felt so bad for Ashlynn and there was nothing that I could do to make it better.  Its the worst feeling a husband can feel for his wife.  I prayed for her to find the strength to get though it and she did, little by little.  I think what we really gained from this was thankfulness.  I am so thankful for the family I have been blessed with.  I have been blessed with two wonderful children when so many beg for the chance to be a parent.  I love them to no end.

After many more talks and praying, we decided that we are content with our lives as parents of two.  I could not imagine Ashlynn going through such a loss again.  I had a little "procedure"and thats that.  We are a family of four. 

With that being said I would still like to look into adoption in a few years, once the kids are in school and a little more manageable.  If you didn't know, Ashlynn was adopted as an infant and we have always wanted to be able to provide a good life for a child who may not be as fortunate as our own.  So I guess we'll see what the future holds, but for now, I couldn't ask for any more.      

I love my little Cushy Family.




Jimmy