I'm just gonna go ahead and put it all out there.

(this pic is not of Jimmy by the way.)

This is the dreaded post about Jimmy's job. When I say dreaded, I mean I'm not sure who dreads it more-me or him. He knows exactly how I feel about his job because I tell him all the time..haha. Truth be told, I could probably stand to use a little more couth when talking to him about it, but It's hard to stay polite when I feel like I've reached my limit. I'm trying though.

It all starting out with so much excitement. After MONTHS of training, long hours, studying, tests, OC spray and being tasered, he finally graduated. He had the cute uniform, the shiny badge and all the bells and whistles that most people are very curious about. I have never been and may never be more proud of him than during his graduation. Please don't misunderstand that.



But.....

The honeymoon is over. Sometimes I feel like I am not only married to Jimmy, but to the Police Department as well. His schedule dictates our whole life. I tend to look at other people's husbands and compare, which I shouldn't do. It's hard not to however, when you go to your family's holiday get-togethers and everyone's husband is there but yours. It's hard not to when you have to decline going somewhere because you'll have to bring your child and it's just too much to manage by yourself. (It used to be easier, but Harper is just at a very squirmy age.) When I have to attend so many functions by myself, spend most nights alone, do ALL the housework by myself because Jimmy doesn't have time to help me, travel alone to visit family while trying to pacify a one-year old and basically function as a single parent for the majority of the time...... it gets old. Friendships have suffered because I have to shut everyone else out to make sure that we are spending quality time together as a family and as a couple. Since I've been staying home with Harper, we do get to spend the day together as a family on his days off. Yes, I love it. BUT, that also means that I rarely ever get a break from mommy duty. I'm on mommy duty when Jimmy is here and when he is away, which is often. Since I stay home with Harper, the only time I get adult conversation is when he is here or when I go to my Physics class on Mondays and Wednesdays for 2 hours. That's 4 hours a week to venture outside the house by myself. Don't get me wrong, I know how blessed I am to be able to be home with him. I don't take it for granted. I've looked into the bi-monthly get togethers for moms at local churches to give me a little more interaction, but they always fall on days that I have class. Figures.

His family is wonderful about offering to take Harper for a few hours and we sometimes take them up on it. Please don't think that I don't have any help at all, because I do. It's just that it would be nice if I had a normal schedule to work with. A lot of times it's just easier for me to stay put than to lug him and all of his stuff to whatever location, just so I can have one or two hours to myself. This isn't always the case, but most of the time, this is the way it is.

I also I have to remind Jimmy to "turn it off" every now and then. For example, we were going to Target not too long ago to buy diapers and got stuck in traffic. As we were sitting there, I could see his eyes darting all over the place, reading the license plate in front of us. After a minute he declared, "Oh I could SO get them for expired registration." :Insert my eyes rolling here: Darn it babe. If only you had that little light you could throw up on your dashboard. You could get 'em right now!


The Target trip is only one of a million examples. There is also a paranoia that goes along with being married to a cop. He is always watching crowds, pointing out the people he's arrested. This presents a danger in and of itself because there have been many cases where a crazy person would attack an officer's family as a way of "getting back" at the cop who arrested them, pulled them over, etc. This applies to any family of a police officer.

Sometimes, I get so tired of watching "The First 48" , "World's Fastest Police Chases" "World's Dumbest Criminals" and "Police Women of Maricopa County" I get tired of talking about is job, thinking about it, worrying about it and just overall dealing with it. ENOUGH cop stuff!!! Most of the time, that is all anyone ever wants to discuss with us when we are together (outside of family). Most people act as if our life doesn't exist outside of the law. Sometimes it gets on my nerves and then other times it's just funny to see how people's faces light up when Jimmy or I tell them that he is a police officer. They automatically want to ask law-related questions, tell us about how their cousin got arrested last week, or help them get out of a ticket.


Then there is the fear. This morning is a prime example of the terror that I have to live with every day because of his job. Right now he is working nights and is in the middle of an 8 day stretch of days on duty. He usually gets home at about 4:00am or so. This morning I wake up, look over and he isn't there. I try not to panic, but it was close to 7:00am. HIGHLY unusual. I pick up the phone, call him... no answer. I tell myself that he probably just got held over longer than usual and I try again...... no answer. I lay there for a minute just wait. Finally, he calls me. He had to deal with a robbery last night involving three people and got held over. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about all the terrible things that could have been the reason he didn't get home last night.

On the flip side of all of this, I don't want to come off as a whiny person . I'm simply answering questions that people have asked me along the way. I am very blessed and grateful for the fact that he has such a stable job in this day and time. There will always be criminals and folks acting crazy, so he has job security. Jimmy works SO hard and I don't thank him enough for all that he does for our family so that I can stay home with Harper and focus on school. On days when I think I've had about all I can take, I stop and count my blessings. I have so very much to be thankful for. Jimmy could be one of those guys who spends too much of his time hanging out at bars with other cops and doing things that I know other cops do, behind their wives' backs. Jimmy spends every extra minute with us and rarely ever does or buys a thing for himself. He is 100% devoted to his family and providing for us.

Please always keep him and other officers in your prayers. They have a very dangerous and stressful job. It's not only hard on them, but their families as well. We appreciate the support!