He doesn't remember a THING.

Yesterday, the hubs went in to have sedation dentistry work done. He absolutely hates any and all things related to teeth. I never make fun of him over it, I just find it so ironic that he is a 6'5, 241lb police officer that is scared of the dentist.

I took a picture of him before he went. I think I may have captured, quite arguably, the world's fakest smile:




His appointment was at 12:30pm and he was instructed to take his "happy pills" one hour before. What does Jimmy do? He takes them 30 minutes before. I drove him to the office, dropped him off, and Harper and I waited for the phone call to go and pick him up.

Finally, around 4pm, he was ready.

I had no idea what I would be walking into.

We go in and Harper immediately reaches for daddy and Jimmy swiftly picks him up.

Then he starts to sway.

He must have said, "I'm fine" a hundred times.

He had me convinced.

I drive to the pharmacy to drop off his prescription for pain meds. He took the Rx to the back while I searched for a bottle of water for my red-faced toddler. As I'm wating to check out in the front, Jimmy wanders our way and takes Harper....then starts walking to the back again. Before he gets too far, I politely ask him to please take a seat in one of the chairs by the pharmacy while I go in search of hand santizer.

I try to find the sanitizer and rush back to make sure we can pay for the it and the Rx altogether.

I walk back to find my husband, sitting on the blood pressure machine with my son's arm in the cuff.

I was baffled as to why he thought this was a good idea. I whisper to Jimmy to please take Harper's arm out of the cuff.

In SHEER defiance, he says to me, "He likes it" and punches the green button to start the blood pressure check.

I press the red button and take Harper off of his lap. We pay for our things and come home where Jimmy collapses on the couch.

Gape-mouthed and all:

__________________________________________________________

A few moments into Jimmy's nap, Harper decides that he wants to play. We sit on the floor and go through his barrage of toys. He finds a small, red, plastic bat that belongs to a baby t-ball set. He begins to whack the leather ottoman. And the couch. And the floor.

Realizing that Jimmy needed to move from the couch to the bed, I say to Harper, "Go get daddy," meaning, "go crawl on daddy and wake him up like you usually do."

Harper interpreted this in a different way and with no reservation, whacked Jimmy in the face with said red bat.

He arose like Frankenstein while shouting explicatives and threw Harper's bat across the room. Harper and I both stare in astonishment over his reaction. This was not like him at all.

Harper chases Jimmy while apologizing. "Ba, da-da, ba ba ba!"

Jimmy responds, "I'm not speaking to you!" and storms into the bedroom.
_____________________________________________________

I went in later, around 7:30pm to wake him for dinner. He stumbles out with his swollen face and tries to eat some spaghetti. Once I put Harper down for the night, I sit on the couch with Jimmy to laugh at all the crazy things he did during the day.

As I'm waiting for Jimmy to laugh at his antics, I realize that he is hearing these stories for the first time.

He has NO recollection of what he did.

How could I have been so dumb? I really thought that he was fine!!
_____________________________________________________

At the end of the day, we both learned a valuable lesson. For follow-up appointments Jimmy will:

1. Not hold Harper
2. Come straight home
3. Go straight to bed.

He's doing great now and I'm happy to have my sane husband back!