One of those teeth-gritting kind of days.

I know, I know. I said I was going to try not to talk as much about Harper's terrible twos. Today, I just really can't help it, so bear with me.

The last few nights, Harper has gone to bed no earlier than 10pm. He also has gotten out of his bed no fewer than 3 or 4 times.

This morning, he was up at 6:30am when Jimmy got home from work. Trying to be the sweet, understanding mommy that I want to be, I played with him from our bed until about 7 and got up for the day. I immediately started my routine. I even went a little "above and beyond" today and swept behind and under our large couch while he played. I noticed around 9am that he was acting sleepy, so I waited until closer to 9:30 before putting him down for his nap. I momentarily thought that I might skip my nap today and clean instead.



As soon as I laid him down, I knew I probably needed to lay down too. So I did.

In less than 45 minutes, I had put Harper back in his bed 4 times.

I found myself getting angrier and angrier each time. I'm not angry with him. I'm angry because I KNOW he is tired, but he absolutely refuses to give in and take a nap. As I am typing now, his head is lying in my lap. His eyes are tired and he is rubbing his beloved monkey on his face. ALL signs that he is ready for a nap.




I know this is typical behavior for a toddler. He is asserting his independence and is way more interested in what is going on around him while he is supposed to be napping. Knowing all of this doesn't make it any easier, however. Especially when I just want to catch a quick cat-nap because I will be having to deal with him alone today and handling his nightime routine and subsequent bedtime defiance by myself.

Today is one of those days where one thought leads to another. I'm angry because I'm tired of the struggle at each bedtime and naptime. I'm angry because I'm tired. I'm angry at myself for losing my patience with him. I'm angry because Jimmy's job prevents him from being here each night to help me with bedtimes when a "normal" job would provide that for us. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that he has a job at all. I'm thankful that I have a healthy child who is developmentally doing exactly what he should be doing.

I'm just tired and frustrated, that's all. I know there are so many other toddler-moms out there going through this and God bless you. Because it's HARD.

I know this is just a "season" in my life. My patience is being tested and sometimes I fail the test. Like today. I pray for those of you who are dealing with bedtime defiance as well. Let's all pray for eachother!