To Three or Not to Three??

I know that title makes no sense, but my brain is not operating fully today.

 Jimmy and I have asked ourselves that question a lot lately. Do we want three children or not? During my second pregnancy, I said over and over again that it would be my last. Then, like most moms, there were days when I thought maybe I'd want a third one day. But not now.

Then this happened.

And this.

And just like that, we were forced to really think about it and for a short time, live it. At one point, we were going to be the parents of three. I still have a hard time putting that week of our lives into words.

After the miscarriage, there was some confusion. Jimmy had gone from being sure he wanted three to doubting it and I changed my opinion as well. I was always sure I was done at two. Then getting pregnant again and losing it made me change my tune a bit. For a little while, I thought I definitely wanted three.

We took time. Talked about it. Prayed. Researched.

We know now that physically, we are done having children and are taking steps to make that concrete. We have left the future open to adoption, but time will only tell if we will feel lead to follow through. God will tell us what to do and we rest on that.

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For those of you who are curious or are contemplating the same things, I wanted to share the reasons behind this decision. Yes, it's personal and I'm sure some of you are wondering why we are choosing to share. If you are like me, you like to get opinions. Consider me a close friend sharing my opinions with you :)



1. With each pregnancy, I have gestational diabetes that I control with diet. It's hard and it puts me in the high-risk category and therefore more Dr. visits than someone who isn't high-risk. There is always the chance that I will deliver a large baby.

2. With that being said, I was encouraged to have a C-Section with my second baby because my first was large for being delivered two weeks early. We dealt with shoulder dystocia as well with my first. We wanted to avoid any complications with my second, so we went with a C-Section.

3. If I were to have a third, I would NOT want a C-Section which would mean I would have a VBAC. There are doctors that will do this, but it is not encouraged. This is definitely not a the top of our list for not wanting a third. Just a little side-note.

4. We have a perfectly healthy boy and girl. We are happy and content with what we have. As of right now, we do not feel as if our family is incomplete.

Now, the frivolous reasons why we made this decision:

1. We have a four bedroom home and would like to always have a guest room available. We love having friends and family come to visit and stay awhile. We realize that if we have a third, we could have them share a room with a sibling to keep the guest room open, but we like the idea of our children having separate rooms.  

2. Car issue. We don't have a minivan or large SUV and are not interested in buying either as of right now. Three babies definitely cannot fit in our car and it would be a tight squeeze in our Jeep. Too tight.

3. Our hands are full. We are in a stage where we can't take Hollin anywhere. We can't travel to places any further than 30 minutes away because it's just not fun for anyone. Harper is only four, but this does affect him. There are a lot of places he can't go because we are house bound so often.

4. We are ready to get past the house-bound stage! Jimmy and I talked about this at length a few nights ago. Having a newborn, then crawler, then toddler, then Preschooler is about a 4 year process for us before we get to the stage where we can go somewhere comfortably without meltdowns and needing to rush home for naps. We love, LOVE our babies and try to soak in these baby moments. If I'm being honest though, it's exhausting. Once Hollin is past her baby-stage, I think we will be more than ready to get out and about again.

5. When I think about the future, I'm just not sure how I would balance three. Especially if Jimmy is still a Police Officer. I would need to be there is his absence for school meeting, games, etc. It might be manageable with two. I'm not so sure about three.

I know myself and yes, I will have moments when I will want a third. Especially when I see my friend's precious newborn pictures and think back to that sweet infant stage. There is nothing like it. But, babies are only babies for a little while and I will remind myself of that :)  We feel so blessed to be Harper and Hollin's parents and are thankful that God gave them to us. We will be happy with our two blessings and all of the fun things we have to look forward to!