Some days, this is just how I feel. I try very hard not to let my blog be a dumping ground for all of my hard/negative/sad/angry/frustrated thoughts, but I also like to be honest about life. It's fun to look back at some of the posts I've written and see just how much life changes. I know this stage is no different :)
So, what's my issue, you ask? Well. Motherhood is hard. Plain and simple.
I LOVE my babies with my entire being. But right now?? At 20 months and 4?? It's exhausting.
I know that there isn't much I can do because I've been down this road before, but age almost-2 is no joke. To be perfectly, 100% honest, Hollin has never had an "easy" stage. Yes, she absolutely has good days, but I so far, there has ever been a period of time where I can say, "Those were the easy days!!"
Most of my days are spent trying to find out why she is crying. Ya'll.... the crying. Oh and the whining too. A lot of times, I just can't do anything right and she resorts to hitting me or trying to pull my clothes off of me. But she is SO sweet and so nurturing. My favorite thing to do is ask her to love her little dolls. It melts my tired heart.
And my son... well... he is in the "why" stage. Just as I'm typing this, I hear, "Mommy, why did Jesus make me? Why does the world spin? Why are Frosted Flakes good for you? Why can't I kill the thunderstorms?"
I know it's precious and some of you are probably chuckling. I get it. But when it's from sun up until bedtime, it wears on you. That and the 2 year old tantrums combined.
It might sound crazy, but sometimes in the middle of these dual-meltdowns and fighting and asking 1,000 questions, I want to cry happy tears. Because they are normal and they are mine. They are two little Jimmy and Ashlynn carbon copies.
I'm thankful that are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing at this moment in their lives. I wouldn't have it any other way. It may not be easy most days, but until it is, I'll just keeping finding more thread :)
Love,
Oh I'm sympathizing with you right now...and I only have 1!!! I'm kind of in the middle of the 20 month and 4 yr old stage. We're dealing with the dreaded 3's which means she goes from the sweetest most adorably funny child, to the spawn of Satan throwing a tantrum kicking and screaming, to the "Mommy why did God make the clouds...but why Mommy...why...why??" I may or may not have been known to lock myself in the bedroom and cry in the corner from time to time. Yes I know we should enjoy them while they're little and they won't be this small for long and it's just a phase (and all the other things people love to tell us) but damn is it hard some days! I'm sending strength and prayers your way :)
ReplyDeleteOh Jess, you made me laugh!! I came pretty close to tears myself these last few days. I'm sending prayers your way too. It sounds like we both need them!
DeleteUh- This is SO my life right now (minus the whole 4-year old). :) Kate will be 2 in just a couple of weeks, and the crying is driving me crazy! It's like her world is falling apart when something doesn't go her way. Can't get her sock on her foot? Wants more chicken on her plate, but has to take ONE BITE of a vegetable first? Man, you would think I torture her over here!
ReplyDeleteI keep reminding myself that she will be in another stage soon. And this post reminds me that I could be getting the "why's" on top of all of that! Sending prayers your way!
Thank you Kelley! Little ones are just so trying sometimes aren't they? Sometimes when she melts into the floor, I want to go too! Haha. Prayers for you too :)
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