My lack of Motivation

Oh, friends. I am in serious need of more motivation. I know that it's totally normal to have tons of motivation for days/weeks at a time and then lose it.  I've been really proud of myself for going to the gym, chasing the kids, keeping up laundry/the house (as best I can) and blogging. Here lately though I am just flat out

tired. 

As much as I try not to complain on my blog, it's also a good place for me to vent.

I think my lack of motivation comes from the fact that my 2 year old still doesn't sleep through the night.  I have tried everything. Putting her to bed earlier. Putting her to bed later. Eliminating virtually all sugar. Shorter naps. Dressing her warmer. Dressing her cooler. A fan for white noise. Fan off. Night lights on. Lights off. Crying it out.

Nothing is working and I have been telling myself for two years, "It's just a season, it's just a season."  In the last two weeks, she is waking anywhere from 2-6 times a night. I think last night was at 6.  She will wake because she loses her paci and she has plenty of lighting to be able to find it. Once last night she woke us because she had moved her pillow and couldn't figure out how to put it back.   I know she is not that helpless. When I try the CIO method, she cries and cries until she is so loud that Harper usually wakes up. If that happens, he comes to our bed where he kicks us all night. So there's the 30 minutes of crying followed by Harper waking up and us trying to get him back to his bed.  I save so much time and effort by just going in and finding out what's wrong instead of letting her cry.

My mommy-brain is still hanging around. I have a hard time completing sentences and finding the words that I'm trying to say ALL the time. It's so embarrassing. I know it's because I'm not getting enough sleep. Plain and simple.

I know in my heart that mommies deal with this all the time. One of my family members told me that her daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was four.  Oh dear....

 One of the silly things that makes me sad about my lack of motivation is this blog. I want so badly to be able to blog more. I have lost followers, probably because I'm that blogger that will be gone for a week at a time.  I don't blog for followers or comments, but yes, I DO pay attention to those things. Sometimes a nice comment can turn my whole day around. Or make me smile. Or inspire or motivate me.

We are coming up on a wonderfully busy season and I have so much to look forward to with my little ones! I will find my groove again. Hopefully sooner than later. Here's hoping that between now and Christmas, I can catch a few Z's :)